Meet - The Girl - Stuck in her Head

 

Hello Social World, 

My name is Victoria (last name excluded - because you know, the dangers of the internet + anxiety). See mom & dad, I listened to every lecture, sat through every lifetime movie that was set to scare me straight, and took all of your advice, all those years ago, #strangerdanger. I am sure most of you are new here, and have no clue who I am, or why I even consider myself important enough to be introducing myself within this blog post. To the newbies, who do not know me - welcome! To my friends and family, buckle up; it's going to be a bumpy ride.

So, who am I, and what makes me, me? Well, you already know my name, but here's my story. I am 27 years old, engaged to an amazing man, still in college because life and dreams don't work unless you work for it (and can afford it), and I am a dog mama to the bestest pup, Tucker.  I like to describe myself as funny, compassionate, family oriented, loving, maternal, have the inability to say no (let's hear it for all those people pleasers out there), always willing to extend a hand, or give you the shirt off my back. Pretty awesome right? Well, I also suffer from severe anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (Pure-O OCD, Contamination OCD), the whole nine), and emetophobia (a fear of throwing up, and yes that's a real thing, and of course I suffer from it). What a perfect cocktail of a person I make up. I am sure there will be more diagnosis' added to my list, As i've only been in therapy for a mere 2 months now (just wait for it!). For the longest time, basically up until very recently, I've always defined myself by my mental health and self diagnosed myself basically up until I grew the ability to say enough is enough, I couldn't continue living on the way that I was, and having anxiety/panic attacks on a weekly basis. (Shout out to COVID, for making me fear leaving my home). I am finally dedicating time to making myself, a better version of myself - because after all, you can't help others, until you help yourself. So, here I am, shouting from the roof tops: MENTAL. HEALTH. MATTERS. 

I guess that's how I ended up here, writing this blog, and placing myself and all that makes me, me - onto the social web for all to read. The truth is, I have always loved to write, just ask the people who mean the most to me - every card for every holiday is hand written, and my feelings are constantly spewed onto a single sheet of loose leaf paper, with the most immaculate hand writing (seriously, not bragging, I'll upload a snapshot one day). The issue is, I find I can only truly sit down and write about things that inspire me, or move me in such a way that I have to express myself with words. So - what better thing to write about then mental health, myself, my struggles, my achievements, my set backs, all while positively putting a spin on the negative stigma that it placed upon mental health, or lack there of. 

WHY NOW. . . Well, my phenomenal therapist taught me this technique when it comes to dealing with my anxiety, and it's basically putting your fear/anxieties into the universe by giving them a voice, saying it out loud, and letting the negative thoughts out of your head. So basically, whenever I am feeling anxious about something, I thank the universe for it, and say it out loud so it basically becomes the universe's problem and I don't keep the thought trapped within my head. I guess, here I am, putting my sh*t into the world (tag, your it) HAHA, just kidding, well maybe not. Truth is, as I have mentioned I have always loved too and enjoyed writing - especially about things that matter most to me, and what's more important to me, than me? But aside from that, I've always been passionate about helping others. So, if this blog can help one mere person struggling, I will have accomplished what I set out to do. I guess this is a safe place to let others know - 

YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE 

YOU. ARE. MORE. THAN. YOUR. MENTAL. STRUGGLES 

YOU. ARE. YOU. AND. THAT. IS GOOD. ENOUGH 

Until next time, 

Victoria